


A Me For You

by lavender_tourist



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Slow Burn, mostly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:07:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28922598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavender_tourist/pseuds/lavender_tourist
Summary: A hopeless romantic's idea of what happened to Rincewind after Interesting Times and The Last Continent. More importantly, a silly story about two silly people.
Relationships: Rincewind & Twoflower (Discworld), Rincewind/Twoflower (Discworld)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	A Me For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Old work title: Sapphire Bullets. Oops. Listen, I promise it'll make more sense this way...)

The afternoon breeze fluttered Death’s cloak around his feet as he strolled along the rooftops of Unseen University. He was on break - today was a slow day. 

As a matter of fact, there had been many slow days for Death as of late (concerning only the University, of course - it was business as usual everywhere else). This had, unsurprisingly, coincided with the appointment of the unkillable Mustrum Ridcully as Archchancellor. That was many years ago, but Death, who was older than the stars, was still unused to the quiet.

He looked down into the main courtyard. As the Tower of Art swayed deliriously, its shadow swept over little groups of students. There were more of them than Death remembered there being. They would get quite the scare if they bothered to look up, he thought, and swiftly ducked behind a gauche-looking spire. He was on the roof for good reason; Death preferred to be seen only by those he had come to collect, and hated to walk in the corridors of a place where almost everyone cowered in his presence. 

Today was a slow day, but there was work yet to be done. Death withdrew an hourglass and held it under the sunshine. The life-timer had a pitiful amount of sand left to fall through it, but he could see that a little while remained until his appointment with, he guessed, based on the time and location, a senior wizard’s tragic accident involving a slick floor, a misplaced rubber duck, and a drawer full of razor blades. 

He sighed metaphorically. Death generally found wizards to be horrible company; they all thought themselves practically immortal, and thus suffered from a complete lack of grace when it came to facing their own deaths. It annoyed him. 

But though the unfortunate appointment drew ever nearer, there was still a little while until the last grain of sand trickled away, and so Death rested on the spire’s balcony, watching the sun filter through the glass dome of the Library. A purr filled the air below, and he looked down to see a furry oval curled beside him.

Death liked cats. This one was black, its long fur lit golden brown by the sweet sun, which made him like it even more. He felt a sort of kinship for other creatures whose presence were perceived as bad omens. Contrary to popular belief, black cats, like Death, were not evil; they were a necessity.

He reached out a bony hand. The cat rubbed its cheek on his skeletal knuckles and began to purr a bit louder. He smiled, glad that it did not fear him, but the change in expression would have been more meaningful if he could make any other kind of expression at all.

After a few moments of scratching behind the ears, the cat stretched into a sitting position and opened its eyes. They glittered green like pools of molten emerald and were, to Death’s surprise, entirely devoid of pupils. 

He instantly withdrew his hand and stood up in a small act of deference.

_MY APOLOGIES, LADY. I HAD NO IDEA IT WAS YOU._

Her laughter rang inaudibly through the void of mind between them. It embarrassed him greatly. It had been millennia since he had been fooled by any of her disguises.

“Don’t fret yourself,” said the goddess. “Your hands are very good for butt-scratches.” 

Death humbly accepted this compliment.

 _IS IT TIME FOR A MILLION-TO-ONE-CHANCE EVENT?_ he ventured after a short pause.

“Perhaps,” she said, in a manner that meant she was not thinking of it. “Something interesting _is_ due to happen around here.”

 _INDEED_ , said Death agreeably, wondering what she could possibly mean. 

It was then that he noticed where her blank gaze was fixed. Amongst the throng of persons busying themselves under the Library dome there was one who had caught her eye. He wasn’t totally surprised. The Lady never lost a pawn, and her pawns never lost her. Death didn’t really see the point of that.

_I THOUGHT THAT PARTICULAR GAME WITH FATE ENDED LONG AGO._

“Oh, yes. I won, of course. Well, _technically,_ it was a draw, but between you and me, I let him get ahead. We’ve put aside our games for now.”

It was a bit ironic how, for all her tricks, The Lady was a terrible liar. Death believed that she was aware he knew this fact, and was still puzzled by what she was getting at.

_WHY ARE YOU HERE, THEN?_

He waited for an answer. Then he noticed where her eye had gone, again, this time to a large and rather pointless-looking bird dramatically swooping towards one of the Library’s high windows. Now that he thought about it, such a sight hadn’t been at all uncommon in the past year or so. It shook something off its leg, and after inhaling a nearby jar of anchovies, launched itself off the windowsill and into the deep blue horizon.

The emerald gaze returned to where it had been.

“I like to check up on this one every so often,” answered the cat at last.

Perhaps she was trying to relate to him. Her soul was smiling. He decided to hazard a guess into her cryptic mind.

_YOU THINK I WILL MEET HIM SOON, ONE LAST TIME._

The cat looked at him, and she knew that he knew that she was up to something. “Hmmm,” she gestured with a thought. “No one can say for sure. Things will change for him, most likely. But one thing is almost certain: you will be heavily involved. Eventually.” She giggled.

Most tended to regard Death as the ultimate ominous specter; most, thought Death, had never met The Lady. He pitied that wizard. While Death took no pleasure in performing his duty, her only joy was in the turning of tables, the twisting of knives, the unraveling of chaos and all the lives that went with it. It was a little frightening, to be quite honest.

_...I’LL MAKE SURE TO TURN UP._

The cat grinned a Cheshire grin and flicked her tail. There was a distant explosion. “Good. By the way, I think there’s been an accident involving a pile of explosives, a misplaced rubber duck, and a drawer full of matches.”

Death shook his head, and took that as his cue to leave; judging from the screams, he already had his work cut out for him. Slow day, indeed.

* * *

Once he was gone, The Lady closed her feline eyes again, and began to devise a strategy. The stakes were a bit different now, sure, but the game no less diverting.

Her pieces on the opposite side of the board were waiting...


End file.
